Ad Navseam Episode 230: Divine Diplomacy — Hera, Aphrodite, and the Bribing of Eros
Welcome, classical gourmands, to episode 230 of the Ad Navseam podcast! Prepare to get your fill with another delectable discussion of Greco-Roman civilization, stretching from the ancient Minoans and Mycenaeans through the Renaissance and right down to the present.
Broadcasting from Parnassus Central—the bunker deep beneath the slopes of Mount Parnassus—Dr. Jeffrey T. Winkle welcomes his co-host, Dr. David C. Noe, on an unusual late Saturday afternoon recording session. Dave confesses he is feeling a little subdued. Summer is gone, fall hasn’t quite arrived, and he has been ready to “fall back” since August, only to learn that the time change won’t come until early November.
Dave has a second grievance: retreats. Dorm retreats, department retreats, faculty retreats—why is everyone always retreating? Dave would prefer some advancement for a change. The hosts swap memories of being forced to share their feelings around a campfire, agreeing that a fire is best enjoyed in meditative, primal silence.
Cowbells and Cross Country
Jeff, meanwhile, spent a gorgeous, dewy autumn morning up north in Michigan at his son’s cross country meet, where his son shattered his personal record by more than 30 seconds! Jeff was on the sidelines with a long-handled, flare-ended cowbell built for maximum obnoxiousness. Dave wonders whether the boy has been wearing Hermes’ winged talaria.
Jeff makes the case that cross country is the ideal sport for parents: a carnival atmosphere, food trucks, and the whole thing wrapped up in about 20 minutes. Compare that with a five-and-a-half-hour football game or an interminable track meet. Thankfully, his son spends the spring on robotics instead—which, the hosts concede, is not a great spectator sport.
Dressing for Epic: Reading Medea Through Her Veil
Speaking of robotics, the hosts sail back into Book 3 of Apollonius of Rhodes’ Argonautica, where the second half of the epic begins to heat up with the arrival at Colchis and the brewing romance between Jason and Medea. After all, what’s an epic without a love interest? Hector has his Andromache, Aeneas has his Dido—and, as Dave’s students keep insisting, the “American epic” of Star Wars has Luke and Leia (an argument both hosts find more than a little creepy and wholly unconvincing).
Jeff introduces an opening quote from Maria Pavlou’s 2009 Greece & Rome article, “Reading Medea Through Her Veil,” which argues that Apollonius deliberately uses clothing to reveal his characters’ identities. Where Heracles is wrapped in a lion skin that signals brute strength, Jason wears an embroidered purple cloak that marks him as a “love hero” whose power lies in charm and eloquence.
The hosts are skeptical. Clothes may communicate our mood or intentions at a given moment, but can they really reveal character? As the old saying goes, barba philosophum non facit —the beard does not make the philosopher. Dave unveils a joke he is saving for the first student who asks why he always wears a sport coat: “They say dress for the job you want, and I want to sell clothes at J.C. Penney.”
Still, the hosts concede some ground. Dave recalls a grad school acquaintance at the University of Iowa who wore a cape and carried a cane on the Hawkeye bus system—and, through sheer consistency, pulled it off. Jeff, by contrast, once tried dressing up in a shirt and tie on Fridays in college and lasted about half a day. The verdict: Jason may well be a bit of a dandy, and the hosts promise to keep an eye on his wardrobe.
Erato and the Second Invocation
Dave reads the opening lines of Book 3 in Greek hexameters, noting his impression that Apollonius’ verse lacks the fluid naturalness of Homer’s. Jeff points out something striking: halfway through the poem, Apollonius opens with a fresh invocation of a Muse, as though the second half were its own epic. The Muse he calls upon is Erato, patroness of lyric and erotic poetry—a clear signal that romance is coming. Just like the openings of the Iliad and Odyssey, the first five lines lay out the whole plot: Jason will bring the fleece home to Iolcus, aided by Medea’s love. The joy lies in watching how the poet gets there.
A Divine Summit: Power, Wisdom, and Beauty
The scene shifts to Olympus, where Hera and Athena slip away from Zeus into a sort of divine conference room to plot how to help Jason. Dave notes the overtones of the Judgment of Paris, since all three contestants for the golden apple will soon be gathered together. Hera grumbles that King Aeëtes is dreadfully pompous, and Athena—surprisingly for the goddess of wisdom—admits she has no plan at all. The two simply stare at the floor until Hera hits upon the idea of enlisting Aphrodite to have Eros shoot Medea with love for Jason.
The goddesses road-trip (Thelma and Louise, anyone?) to the palace that Hephaestus built for Aphrodite, where the lame smith apparently sleeps on a cot by the entryway so he can slip out early to his forge on a floating island. Dave is unnerved to discover Aphrodite sitting alone facing the door, combing her long hair with a golden comb—a greeting no spouse wants to come home to.
The guys then discuss an allegorical reading of the summit: Hera is power, Athena is wisdom, and Aphrodite is beauty, and these three rarely sit comfortably together. Alcibiades, Jeff suggests, is a man of power and beauty sorely lacking in wisdom, and Dave recalls a Martial epigram about one Cotta, who wants to be both handsome and important but ends up merely trivial. Jeff also hears echoes of the Deception of Zeus in Iliad 14, where Hera crosses battle lines to borrow Aphrodite’s charms, and the two goddesses trade flattery through gritted teeth.
Xenia, Baked Beans, and Disposable Tools
Hera explains her motives. Years ago, disguised as an old crone, she tested mortals at the flooded river Anauros, and only Jason carried her across on his shoulders. Dave notes that this is a classic test of xenia, much like Zeus and Hermes visiting Baucis and Philemon. Jeff admits to his own recent act of heroic courtesy: fetching a can of Bush’s baked beans from the top shelf for a woman of about four foot ten. Dave, who would never knowingly hand anyone baked beans, notes that you have to hand it to short people because they can’t reach it.
But Hera’s affection has an edge. Her real target is Jason’s uncle Pelias, who slighted her sacrifices. Jason is simply the hammer for driving that nail—a disposable plastic fork rather than the fine silverware you keep in the drawer. Unlike Athena, who stands by Odysseus to the very end of the Odyssey, Hera will cast Jason aside once he has served his purpose. The hosts note how hard it is to read Apollonius on his own terms when Euripides’ terrifying Medea looms so large in the imagination.
Golden Dice and a Bribe for Eros
Aphrodite finds her son Eros in Zeus’ orchard, gambling for golden dice with Ganymede and laughing as he cleans the boy out. The hosts observe that early Greek art depicts Eros as a late adolescent—more James Dean than chubby cherub—and it is only with Ovid and the Renaissance putti that he becomes a baby. Here Apollonius seems to be making him younger. Dave suggests that, in the NFL, Eros would draw a flag for taunting.
Aphrodite greets her boy as an “infernal miscreant” and bribes him with a dazzling toy: the golden ball that Zeus’ nurse Adrasteia made for him in the Idaean cave on Crete, which leaves a blazing trail when tossed. The hosts compare it to a Rubik’s Cube, a disco ball, and the golden snitch from Quidditch. Eros falls for it instantly, and every parent who has ever promised a McDonald’s stop in exchange for 30 minutes of silence will recognize the move. Jeff praises the psychological texture of these scenes as a welcome change from the repetitive rhythm of Books 1 and 2. Eros gathers his bow and quiver and sets off through the gates of Olympus to fly the friendly skies down to Colchis.
Sponsors and Support
Before the hosts dash off ahead of disgruntled representatives from Delta Airlines (and McIlhenny, and the self-rising flour lobby), they thank their sponsors:
- Hackett Publishing: Keeping the flame lit for the classics since 1970, Hackett offers affordable translations, handsome covers, and fast shipping at hackettpublishing.com! Use coupon code AN2026 for 25% off your entire order. Go fancy with the Hackett Signature Editions Collection, featuring Smith-sewn hardcovers of Augustine’s Confessions, Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics, and Nietzsche’s On the Genealogy of Morality.
- Ratio Coffee: Tom’s Guide names the Ratio 4 the best coffee maker of 2026 for coffee enthusiasts, praising its five-year warranty, small footprint, and automated pour-over brewing with no scorching warming plate. Head to ratiocoffee.com/adnavseam and use code ANRATIO2026 for $20 off your machine.
To learn Latin or Greek, visit latinperdiem.com! Dr. Noe’s Moss Method takes you from neophyte to erudite, and he insists that anyone who learns Attic Greek can read the New Testament with ease and joy. Latin students can start ab initio with the Lingua Latina Per Se Illustrata course. Use coupon code 10PLUS for 10% off.
Credits & Gustatory Parting Shot
A heartfelt thank you to sound engineer Mishka—and, for the second week running, congratulations on her recent nuptials!
Additional thanks to guitarist Jeff Scheetz (jeffscheetz.com) for providing the melodic shredding of Thrill Seeker and Rush Hour.
Questions, comments, and corrections (yes, even from you-know-who) can be sent to dave@adnavseam.com or jeff@adnavseam.com (remember the ‘V’ in Navseam!). Next week, the podcast continues with Book 3 of the Argonautica, as Eros’ arrow finds its mark and Medea’s fateful love begins to bloom.
We leave you today with a Gustatory Parting Shot from Ray Bradbury’s 1957 novel Dandelion Wine, shared by Jeff, proud owner of a signed copy of Fahrenheit 451. Bradbury observes that a sandwich eaten outdoors simply isn’t the same as one eaten inside:
“Sandwich outdoors isn’t a sandwich anymore. Tastes different than indoors, notice? Got more spice. Tastes like mint and pinesap. Does wonders for the appetite.“
Thanks for listening, and we will catch you next week for Episode 231!